Did I ever tell you about the time Fred Durst tried to pick me up?

It was at Swingers restaurant in Hollywood. I was having brunch with a friend, he was eating with some Limp Bizkit band members.

I was having some those spicy hashbrown things they make there, and sucking down mad iced tea (to tame the spice), when I noticed a majorly tattooed freak staring at me from his booth. It was Durst, but had no idea who he was (I am really horrible with names -- and faces, knowing bands, etc.).

"Eek!" I thought. "What a dirty guy!"

His stare freaked me out. This was a man that was undoubtedly on drugs (and Nancy Reagan brainwashed me to 'Just Say No!').

When I was finishing up, I left my table, making a pitstop for the ladies room to powder my nose. As I waited in line (which seemed like forever), I felt someone invading my personal space, behind me. It was that icky and bloodshot, backwards-cap guy, Durst.

"Jesus freaking Christ, just stare at the wall, and hope he does not talk. Just stare at the door!" I chanted silently.

Then I felt his breath on my neck.

"Hey, could I get your number?" he said.

"Sorry, I have a boyfriend," I said.

(I didn't have one at the time, but thought this would be the best repellent.)

"Do you know who I am?" Durst whispered.

"The guy that was watching me eat?" I asked.

"I am Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit, and those are my boys over there," he said.

"I'm sorry, can't give you my number. That's top secret info," I said, trying to be nice.

As the ladies room door opened and I walked in, he told me that was cool, then walked away with a weird look on his face.

He started seeing Paris shortly after that. I guess she does not have the same tattoo / backwards cap phobia that I do! Eeks!!

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Photos: (LEFT - Paris Hilton, Fred Durst and party host Pharrell Williams at the Ice Cream and BBC's New Footwear Flavor Debut, Pacific Design Center, West Hollywood, California. August 2004.) (RIGHT - Swingers in Hollywood. Durst was at the corner booth, in the middle of his scroungy band buddies; I was sitting in the other booth pictured.)