May 31, 2006
The Strokes FLY with Rolling Stone
The Strokes stopped by FLY lounge the other day for a private photo opp / interview with Rolling Stone.
The band was in town for the 2006 HFStival -- the perfect opportunity for the magazine's editors to fly in from Paris and shoot the cover at the hot and trendy (and very fly) FLY.
Intrigued? Want to kiss the seat Julian Casablancas sat in?
Well then, flyby FLY this Friday @ 6:30 for its first-ever happy hour. I'll be there with a few real-lifers ... and a coupla my blogfriends (including my new editorial assistant).
Check out the photos, by Bryan Davis: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
I'm all about this place. There just something about that slick, white interior and those hot FLY attendants (check out FLY gallery here).
Featured pic by Bryan Davis: FLY business partners Richard Eidman and Chuck Koch with members of The Strokes.
Q & A: Patrick J. Fitzgerald
KAC, I am a single professional who splits my time between Washington and Chicago. There is talk of me being a candidate for president in '08 and I was wondering if you think being single would hurt my chances and if yes, can you help me find a nice girl? Sincerely, PJF
Dear PJF,
Stop stalking me, ya perv!
Singled out,
KAC
Dear PJF,
Stop stalking me, ya perv!
Singled out,
KAC
Tribe Wanted
Look out, Tattoo. Da plane is a comin' to the big empty island, which is gonna take a tribe to fill it.
Think Survivor meets MySpace meets The Sims meets World of Warcraft meets The Gesundheit! Institute meets the land of Dreamworks extras and messageboard trolls. Think pay-per-view America's Most Wanted reruns. Think Tribe Wanted.
But is it reality TV, interactive WebTV, a Web 2.0 cult?
Continued on next page ...
Creators Mark James and Ben Keene, self-proclaimed social entrepreneurs (both 26), say their new project, Tribe Wanted, is a "history-making adventure" ... and they're urging people to stop imagining and to start believing.
Hmm, I'm imagining no sewage, painted people with spears, manual labor, no A/C and no Starbucks. What kinda nightmare are they trying to get me to believe?
The duo says it their goal is to form a tribe through online collaboration that will develop a sustainable eco-community (like I said ... manual labor and sewage issues) on a Fiji island that tribe members (5,000 to be exact) can then visit (after they've come up with a plan via IM and messageboard chats).
A tribe *really* is wanted
Who: Anyone. Survivor rejects welcome. Just PayPal the chiefs some bucks and you're in.
What: You get to vote on what the village will have (beach bars, anyone?) and who the 12 chiefs will be. It takes a village.
When: After Sept. 1, you get to visit. Length of time depends on your level of commitment (nomad, hunter or warrior).
Where: Fiji. Adventure Island.* Where else?
Why: The plan is to create the world's first online and real life tribal community, providing an experience of a lifetime to its members whilst simultaneously helping local development projects in Fiji and without negatively impacting the environment.
How: All members will be actively involved in the running of the Island via the online community that will become the tribe's virtual headquarters for Island brainstorming and discussions. The village has yet to be developed. After the 5,000th person signs up, the games will begin.
Too cheap (or too chicken) to join? Pay 18 bucks to watch Online Tribal Television from the privacy your cube.
Nearly five hundred people (484 right before pressed the Blogger publish button) have already signed up. And if all members sign up for the lowest level of membership (a.k.a. "nomad") ... my brain calculates about $1.1M for the "social entrepreneurs" -- or what I think would be the most useful thing to have on this freakin' island full of tribespeople: a beach bar. ;-)
And who knows, in addition to a unique experience, you could meet some celebs while hangin' around your hut. I hear Shipwrecked star John Melvin is in. (But who the heck is he, anyway? I Googled him and all I discovered is that he likes his speedos.)
But forget Mister Melvin. Who knows, John Kerry and Al Gore could be on the list ... and in the running for one of 12 available chief posts. Surely Al shaved his beard for some reason. Online Tribal Television Chief Candidate Debate, perhaps?
Will I join the tribe, MZB asks. MZB, I already told Ben that I'll do it if they let me name the tribe "Fiji Socialites" -- or if cutie Tribal Travel Advisor Tom Griffiths sends me a special Evite?
Somebody, please help. If you ask me ... we need a village expert immediately. These tribe-pushing village people are already invading the island of NYC. Get Hillary to Hells Kitchen, pronto!
Bula**, $1.1M or Bust,
KAC
Notes: *'Adventure Island' is situated 25 minute boat ride off the north coast of Vanua Levu, Fiji's second largest island. **Bula is what Fiji people say when they are wishing other Fijians good health or happy trails, or something like that. Some people say it means "spring double kegger," and some say it originated with the sound you make when you retch and expel the contents of your stomach, usually after the over consumption of alcohol.
Please & Thank you
- Thank you ... Martin @ DCist for remembering me in your morning roundup along with the new Metro signs (ahem) ... ahh, the good, ol' socialite days.
- Please ... MB, you gotta send more Au Bun Pain! You gotta keep debunkin' that! Hey, tomorrow, let's go to lunch there and and pick it apart ... literally. I'll bring my camera. I'll buy, then we can toss it, and then head to Beyond Juice for some real food.
- Thank you ... to the people that recently confirmed the identity of the troll at the Haters' Happy Hour who was going around, talkin' smack behind my back. Tsk, tsk. Leave it to the interns to ruin a good party.
- Thank you ... to the fly Wonkette team for the mention of the WaPo GOG flyswatter.
- And please ... could someone tell me where I can get one of these before they hit the stores? Concerto Table.
- Thank you ... to all the people that use clean plates when going back to the food bar for seconds at Denny's restaurants across this fine nation.
Bothersome Brat
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away ... there was a girl that said "please and thank you" to anything that required either a "please" or a "thank you."
She. Was. Annoying.
She. Was. Annoying.
May 30, 2006
Open Up and Say ... Ahh!
KAC, Is there some kind of D.C. blog or gossip war going on? Samantha
Dear Samantha,
Right now, D.C. has the following gossip columns:
The Hill's Under the Dome
Media Bistro's Fishbowl
Read Express' blog
Roll Call's Heard on the Hill
U.S. News' Washington Whispers
WaPo's Reliable Source
Washington Times' Inside the Beltway
Gawker's Wonkette
Not sure about a war, but I heard it through the grapevine that John McCaslin, who has been writing Inside the Beltway for the WashTimes since 1992 said: "There are all kinds of new pressures out there. I've never seen the competition so intense."
Oh, dear John. You're right. It is getting intense. But all is fair in love and war ... and in Washington.
Just how high will that grapevine grow this summer? Well, word on the street is that yet another gossip column is about to hit D.C. Now that's something to talk about.
Get out your juicy couture,
KAC
Juicy Morsel
May 26, 2006
Dooced & Dissed
It has been brought to my attention that I forgot to mention a blogger "You're Fired" success story. Actually, I forgot to mention the first blogger to ever to be dooced (fired for blogging).
This blunder was brought to my attention by a commenter. Shame on me. Shame on me. Shame on me. :-p
Now normally, when commenters call me an idiot (how rude) I just brush it off and think "whatever, troll!" And then I consider banning their commenting abilities for kicks. But this time, I really was an idiot for forgetting Heather B. Armstrong. She was fired in 2002, and now her blog is #22 on Technorati's Top 100 Blogs list.
So, what does Heather say about blogging about work? "Be ye not so stupid" ...
"I started this website in February 2001. A year later I was fired from my job for this website because I had written stories that included people in my workplace.
My advice to you is BE YE NOT SO STUPID. Never write about work on the internet unless your boss knows and sanctions the fact that YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT WORK ON THE INTERNET.
If you are the boss, however, please don't be a bitch and talk with your hands. And when you order Prada online, please don't talk about it out loud, you rotten whore." - Heather of Dooce.com
She's a funny gal. Kinda unrefined. But a fun read.
Heather grew up in a small suburb of Memphis, Tenn., and graduated valedictorian of Bartlett High School in 1993. Now she has a daughter, and is married to a geek man named Jon. She says the only reason she says she was valedictorian is because being able to say, "I was the valedictorian," is the only privilege she ever got in life from achieving that goal.
"No one ever hired me because I was valedictorian. The lesson to be learned from this is: AIM LOW. Save yourself the time," Heather says.
Read her blog, Dooce. But do keep in mind that her May masthead says: "this site sucks sweaty goat balls" ... and for that, I say proceed with caution. :-O
Memorial Days
Ha ... a reader sent me this link to my Z104 spot about last Memorial Day and asked if I am going to "outdo" myself this year.
I do not think I could ever outdo myself. Last year's Memorial Day was pretty busy. In fact, I think I am still recuperating from my life as a Washington Socialite. :-p
Too. Many. Parties. Too. Little. Time. But tons of fun. :-D
I will not get into specifics, but this year's plan involves friends and some diehard relaxation.
I do not think I could ever outdo myself. Last year's Memorial Day was pretty busy. In fact, I think I am still recuperating from my life as a Washington Socialite. :-p
Too. Many. Parties. Too. Little. Time. But tons of fun. :-D
I will not get into specifics, but this year's plan involves friends and some diehard relaxation.
May 25, 2006
Moblogs, Blogs & Videoblogs
Just about everyone has a blog these days. In fact, Technorati estimates that there are more than 10 million live blogs out there on the WWW.
Some people blog about the single life (DC Bachelor). Some gossip (Big Head Rob). And some videoblog about the news (Ze Frank). And they do it with words via blogs, photos (a.k.a. moblogs), and streaming (videoblogs).
Several, however, have made a big mistake and blogged about their dayjobs -- a big no-no, unless, of course, you are a professional blogger (Mike Grass). And all big no-noes come to an end.
Yes, some blogs die when Paris Hilton threatens to sue their creators (that would be me ... hey, it was too tempting)* ... and some end with a big fat Trump-style "You're Fired!" ...
I have been blogging for about four years. And the first person I remember that got fired from a job for blogging was Michael Hanscom. Michael is the Microsoft employee that posted a picture of Apple Macintosh G5s sitting on the loading dock at Microsoft headquarters. Umm, no-no! Click here to read the post that got him fired.
The second person I remember hearing about was a Friendster employee (a.k.a. Troutgirl) that got fired for blogging that she worked at Friendster. Kinda ironic since Friendster later launched Friendster Blogs and encouraged their employees to blog. Uhh ... sucks to be Troutgirl. Read her reaction here. Maybe if her online moniker woulda been "FriendsterGirl" they woulda liked her more.
And then, I don't remember hearing about any others blog firings until Jessica Cutler, a.k.a. Washingtonienne, was given the boot for blogging about all the sex she was having with her Capitol Hill coworkers. Read about her firing here, and her reaction here.
But now we have Jessa Jeffries, who was given the axe this month for blogging on myspace.com and on her Jessisms site.
In my opinion, Jessa did not write anything bad about her company on that site, all she really said was that she was a marine zoologist, working at a museum. And, she published some harmless pics of herself at work and things like this:
"SO, while I'm stuck at work waiting for the results of the necropsy tissues we sampled from the Pilot Whale that didn't make it the other day, I decided to sit down and finally finish my SUMMER GUIDE TO LOVING SHARKS." - Jessisms
I do not know what the big deal was ... I mean, it was her diary and she didn't even mention the name of the place where she worked. But now, since her company fired her ... everyone knows everything -- including the fact that the people she worked for are paranoid museum freakozoids.
Yes. We now know her whole, real name and the name of the organization that fired her for talking about fish on her little myspace blog. The New York Times reports:
Ms. (Jessa Jeffries) Werner, 25, who blogged under the name Jessaisms about jobs she held at Adventure Aquarium in Camden and the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia, was fired by the academy. Officials there also asked her to remove posts and pictures related to them from her site and her myspace.com page, and she did.
The confrontation was traumatic, Ms. Werner recounted, not always with perfect spelling or grammar, on another Web site: "I was still sobbing kind of quietly but I didn't want them to think that I was ashamed of what I had written. My parents read my blog. My old college friends keep up with my life through my blog. I took my badge off and looked at the mean HR lady who was smiling smuggly at me. She told me perhaps next time I would be more wise in my lifestyle and decision making choices regaurding work."
What is the big deal about what she said? She talked about some fish.
I mean, what Jessa did pales in comparison to what some people do when they are out and about. In fact, one of the most commonly asked questions people ask is, "What do you do?" And it is very common for people to hand out business cards to random strangers with their company's name, phone number and address. Uh -- that is way worse than saying, "Hi blogfriends. I am a zoologist."
When at bars and lounges, people drink cocktails and tell bartenders about the supervisors that annoy them, their nasty cafeteria food and their tiny cubes. They also stick their cards up on bulletin boards and toss them into fishbowls at restaurants, hoping to get a free meal. You know what I am talking about because it happens a million times a day. What is the difference between blogging about some random thing that is related to work and talking about it to people every day at happy hours? Jessa did not want a free meal, she just wanted to keep her friends up-to-date on her life.
Do not get me wrong ... yes, I think talking about workplace specifics is bad. Yes, I think some people deserve to be fired for some types of behavior. And yes, I think writing about coworkers is bad.
But what is the harm in saying, "Flipper died today, I am sad."? What is wrong with posting a pic of yourself with a dolphin? I mean, really people. Who cares?
"i have bangs and i wear dresses. i'm a marine zoologist who gets to do all sorts of amazing things at an aquarium that would make you very jealous. marine conservation is my undying passion." -- Jessa Jeffries of Jessisms
Now ... how is that worse than being some cokehead or some sexually promiscuous person that is out on the town getting his or her fix every night, passing out business cards, and talking about the company they work for, like candy (or as a means to pick up chicks)? You know the lines, girls ... "Hi, I'm John Doe. I am a Vice President at Company XYZ. Me and some of the other execs are having an after-party. Want to join us?"
No, Jessa was not trying to pick up a date. All she said was that she liked her job, she likes fish and that she also likes makeup. It is not like she was the CEO of the company and that she was out, pole-dancing at Camelot, having pics taken of herself, and then posting them online. I say what Jessa did was pretty innocent and that there was not one thing wrong with it.
The only wrong thing Jessa did involved accepting a job with a stuffy organization.
So ... what have we learned from this?
1. Some ghetto skanks (Jessica Cutler) do deserve to get fired for blogging.
2. Some people (Jessa Jeffries) do not deserve to get fired for blogging.
3. There are 10 million blogs out there ... this blogging thing is here to stay.
4. If the Academy of Natural Sciences cared about blogging, they should have developed a blogging policy. Like Sun Microsystems, Harvard Law or Google (can't find a link online, but I know they have a good one). Companies should develop policies that protect corporate information while preserving personal creativity and opinions.
5. Don't work for a stuffy organization.
6. Marine zoologists cannot spell that well (NYT). But hey, niether do I. :-p
7. Friendster execs might be hypocrites when it comes to blogging.
8. I've been blogging for four years. Maybe it's time to get a life.
9. Microsoft headquarters uses Apple computers.
10. The Academy of Natural Sciences created its own bad press when it fired Jessa Jeffries. Now, bloggers and journalist nationwide are calling them meanies. I will never go to that natural science museum.
I've said it before ... and I will say it again: Freedom of Speech ... it's what's for dinner.
Blog on with your bad selves,
KAC
- Click here for a pretty thorough list of fired bloggers.
- Sidenote ... I just learned that my coverage of Jessica Cutler's 2004 firing is being used as part of Towson University's Writing for New Media class. Weird.
- Meanwhile, during Jessa's time of need, DCB jokes about the WaPo buying his blog with the intention of integrating it into the Going Out Gurus blog.
- In other news ... a teacher at a Catholic high school was fired for coming out on his myspace.com blog.
- *Yes, Paris threatened to sue me, but I did not do anything wrong, so she dropped the case. She said she owned the copyright to her friends' names, so I could not talk about them ... uh, OK. Whatever.
- Read the NYT article, Interns? No Bloggers Need Apply. Jessa is mentioned on page 2.
- Run a company? You might want a blog policy. Read this Corporate Blogging Policy Primer
- Love to blog? Here is an interesting read ... How to blog safely
May 24, 2006
Safety Demo Shuffle
I was just reading the Express, which brought my attention to a recent event involving a member of the WaPo's completely oblivious Going Out Gurus blog. The people on that blog: OBVIOUSLY NOT going-out gurus.
And even more ridiculous than the existence of this GOG blog is its latest post: Waiting to Fly? Expect Delays.
GOG writer Fritz Hahn says he waited in line at Fly Lounge for a very long time Saturday night. But if he really was a "going out guru," he would have boarded this fab new lounge immediately - without a wait. This *alone* is proof to me that this blog, which WaPo is trying to pass off as cool, is run by a bunch of nightlife amateurs.
And now ... time for a blogosphere debriefing:
EXHIBIT A
What an amateur would say:
I'd called the club a bit earlier to inquire about cover and dress code, the heartiness of the response ("none!") suggested it would be a good idea to swing by for a drink and to scope out the scene.What KAC says:
You actually had to call about cover and dress code? Darling, real nightlife gurus don't pay a cover -- and they know what to wear for a night out on the town. How'd you expect to get into that widebody without a flight suit?
EXHIBIT B
What an amateur would say:
Still, it's a pretty fair assumption that most people skipping the rope didn't have table reservations if everyone who got past the bouncers were greeted with hugs (guys) or air kisses (women) and the question, "Who's with you?" or "How many you got?"What KAC says:
If you were a going out guru, you would have been blowing your own air kisses, newbie. How you gonna earn your wings if you can't get past ATC.
EXHIBIT C
What an amateur would say:
People were either ushered quickly into the club by the suited guys behind the velvet ropes or left to cool their heels outside, and many in the latter group gave up after a few minutes of glares from the unresponsive doormen and headed elsewhere.What KAC says:
Why would the bouncers let steerage pax into first class? Don't blame the doormen, they're just doing their job. With your clueless attitude, I bet you also have trouble getting into the cockpit queen's blue room when you travel.Really, Fritz. Stop futzing around. You are wasting WaPo readers' time.
You should have called me before you tried to take flight. Maybe, if you would have asked nicely, I could have given you a pre-flight safety checklist (and an escort) that would have upgraded your coach class to the Mile-High Club.
So blog, whine and complain about being shooed like a fly buzzing near Fly. I wouldn't have let you near the Fly Sky Girls, either. They're too hot for your blog.
Pan American smiling at you,
KAC
May 23, 2006
Social Democracy
In response to The Senator's recent post ...
A Senator and a Socialite, hanging out ... together ... in Washington, D.C.? Now, that's a rare combo (not).
Ah, I can see it now ...
Summers in Martha's Vineyard, red carpet galas, winters poolside at The Delano, debutante cotillions, Black-tie fundraisers, and a compulsive obsession with political partying.Wait a minute. That paragraph like totally describes my June through December 2006 agenda.
Senatorially speaking,
KAC
May 22, 2006
Watered Down
KAC, Is the water in Washington, D.C., water safe to drink? Melissa
Dear Melissa,
The media is reporting that a large -- 17 million gallon -- sewage spill has soured the Potomac River.
The reason? There was a power outage, and officials say that at the time of the blackout a backup line (which is normally available), had been taken down for maintenance.
Uh ... what?! I think they need a backup for *that* backup!
Not trying to muddy the water or anything, but hasn't the District been treating this crap since like 1938? Seems like they'd have their excrement together by now.
So ... in response to your question, Melissa, I would have to say no, the water in D.C. is not safe. Don't drink that s**t.
That's water under the bridge,
KAC
May 19, 2006
A/S/L?
Sorry if this is too personal, but what's up with your dating life? Are you dating the Senator, or just trying to antagonize DCB by squiring him around? What happened to Luke Duke? Thanks, Curious
Dear Curious,
I do not have a boyfriend, if that's what you're asking.
Take a number,
KAC
May 17, 2006
Going Down?
Yesterday, Mr. Z and I thought Logan Tavern would be the perfect place to sit outside, grab a bite for lunch and brainstorm some work stuff.
But I forgot to pack my handy tourist map (I'm not much of an East-of-16th-Street kinda gal and Mr. Z just moved here from NYC), and we got a little lost.
But good news, everyone! We believe we have found the portal to the Third Circle of Hell -- right here in D.C.!
See map.
All I have to say is ... the next time we decide to wander away from Dupont for lunch, I'm going to pack my Nike Air Zoom Elites, an umbrella, and an Evian bottle full of holy water.
Eep App Ork Ah-Accck,
KAC
Beam Me Up, Scotty
Have I died and gone to high-tech heaven? Or have I been transported via a spatial rift into a uber-funkatized, dimension? Nope. Looks like I'm still here on Planet Earth.
Lately, in case you hadn't noticed, I've been all about discovering new, fun gadgets. So, what's got my geekazoidal attention this time, you ask?
The new object of my affection is this tiny 3.5" device, which laser-projects a keyboard on any flat surface. It has 63 keys and works as well as a standard keyboard. It connects to PDAs, smartphones and computers using Bluetooth.
Best thing about it? You don't have to worry about getting your QWERTY sticky after accidentally dropping a plop of your Milky Way Mousse.
The Borg Queen has spoken,
KAC
May 16, 2006
Eep App Ork Ah-Ah
Meet George Jetson's kitchen.
It's circular. It's space-agey. And it has everything - including the kitchen sink.
[Sexy kitchen model shot here.]
This contraption allows you to use all its 2,000* parts (stove, fridge, espresso machine, wastebin, cabinets, etc.) without taking one step. RedDot Design says this no-walls-required, 180-degree rotating innovation is the latest mechanism in hi-tech cookery.
Worthy of a spot in the swankiest Skypad, this $6,000 - $15,000 contraption (price depends on the features) just makes me want to sing Baby, baby, baby, ah, ah, ah, all humanoid robot-style.
I'm sure Jane, his wife, would agree.
So spacejam on out and get yourself a space-saving kitchen, Jet Screamer. This thing's so clever it may put poor Rosie outta commission, er, uh, I mean, the kitchen.
Notes about this blog entry ...
This post was inspired by a friend that is into, ahem, rotating all sorts of things ... and several emails that I have received from people asking me about cooking, and other things related to food and drink. Here are my responses to some of the questions:
1. Jay, I don't go into the kitchen that often. I dust my stove. So no ... I have never baked a Butterball turkey.
2. Miss H, Cooking? What's that? Do you mean microwaving?
3. Scott D., No, I would not know how to mix a drink ... not even if The Senator's life depended upon it.
3. DCB, No, you cannot bake brownies for me. I'm telling Judy. :p
* I have no idea how many part this thing has.
Suited for Change
Dear Friends,
Quick reminder ... tonight is the night for Focus on 49, the Suited for Change 14th Annual Celebration and Auction, at D.C.'s City Museum. Seyhan (talented DJ that did my special Girls Just Wanna Have Fun remix for the Z104 morning show) spins.
Suitini me over,
KAC
May 15, 2006
Doilie Doll
At the blogger happy hour a coupla weeks ago ... someone introduced me as the "Grandmother of D.C. Blogs."
(Yes, that was a tear that you heard dropping from behind my spectacles.)
You know, I always kinda thought of myself as that crazy (yet oh so much fun - and young) person that just took a walk out onto the wacky blogline. What's up with this Grandma talk? I know it was meant to be a compliment, but had a nightmare about the whole thing last night. Crochet doilies, lace curtains, Ben-gay and all. Um, thanks. Thank you very much. I'll get right on that Chanel Anti-Age Retexturizing Fluid. :-O
What's wrong with blog kids these days? If you ask me, I think they're lacing their Shirley Temples with some whacked , yet intoxicating, infusion.
:-p
Spin Me
Sister Act
Dear Minger,
I was kinda wondering why you didn't make it to K Street Saturday night.
Apparently my sexual persuasion regarding all the hotties @K didn't work on the Minger Friendster. At least you made the Daughters of Bilitis proud. >:-O
Breaking the smurf code,
KAC
I was kinda wondering why you didn't make it to K Street Saturday night.
Apparently my sexual persuasion regarding all the hotties @K didn't work on the Minger Friendster. At least you made the Daughters of Bilitis proud. >:-O
Breaking the smurf code,
KAC
May 12, 2006
Stick & Ball
Dear KAC, What is the biggest social event that's coming up? Thanks. Kathy
Dear Kathy,
Dahling, if you are into divot stomping, Hermes and champagne, the next big event for Washington's socialites is Courage Cup, June 17 - the scene to see and be seen.
D.C.-area's hottest men and women will be there, as well as some of the world's sexiest people.
Come out and see Mark Cann of The British Forces Foundation, Salvatore Ferragamo of The Borro Estate, Mathias Guerrand-Hermes of Hermes and Ignacio "Nacho" Figueras of Ralph Lauren.
Nacho is my personal favorite, because, well, look at him (see above photo). He is a man with some serious game -- and he makes polo shirts look good (on or off). Nacho is from Argentina, drinks Evian water, carries an iPod and oftens goes commando (don't ask, because I won't tell).
So, if you are into polo -- or, ahem, Argentine beef -- you will not want to miss this event. Here's the invite.
Playing the field,
KAC of the District of Columbia
May 11, 2006
Pink Slip
KAC, It is not required but players will have the option to use pink bats on Sunday for Mothers Day. What do you think about the pink bats? - Geoff
Dear Geoff,
It's a nice to remember your mom on Mother's Day, but not *even I* would use a pink bat. Thats. Just. Gay.
Sorry, but Pepto-Bismol pink is not on my list of approved batting colors.
Not swingin' both ways,
KAC
May 10, 2006
Shut Up
Dear First Date DCers:
I think this guy is a whiney loser and do not have the patience to deal with him. So here is one for the blog ... if you want it.
Good luck,
KAC
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Pat
Date: May 6, 2006 11:32 PM
Subject: here's a question.
To: kac@kellyanncollins.com
there's two women:
one is my ex fiance'. smart, well educated, attractive, decent career,
in her mid30's, great fun to be with. we dated for two years, she
eventually dumped me because I put on too much weight. I put on 45
lbs, but since lost it. she wants to get back together, I'm stringing
her along because I never loved her and female #2.
the next woman in my life is a recent girlfriend. we began dating soon
after the breakup with my ex. she's 39, smart, no career to speak of,
she's a receptionist, beautiful. I absolutely fell in love with her.
but there were issues. she has the classic long term relationship went
sour syndrome. and now she's, for lack a better term, fucked in the
head. emotionally distant but overly social. anyhow, she's essentially
kicked me out of her life for no reason right when things were getting
very serious. we had discussed moving in together, and talked family.
I did some snooping, asked her friends, and there's no other guy. we
still talk some as we work for the same company. different departments
though. so its not a serious problem. and frankly, if need be I can
find a better job instantly, but I haven't quit because she works
there. the deal is, I know she loves me, but I fear shes scared of her
feelings for me. and this is what caused her odd behaviour.
then there's me: I'm 34, educated, good earning potential, somewhat
attractive(I get hit on by wimmens a lot), and by all measures, I'm
quite a catch. I'm just ready to start a family.
the deal is, do I go back with my ex, or do I fight for the girl I
love? is this woman a lost cause?
in a bind,
Pat
May 09, 2006
Old Snooze
KAC, Did you know that Jeff Gannon outed himself? - PF
Dear P.F.,
Yup. But too bad he didn't stop telling his queer lies to the straight guys last spring.
If he had done so ... he'd have a few extra bucks for a new suit and tie. Or, at the very least, a relaxing scalp massage at Luna's.
Three words: What an idiot.
Don't say I didn't tell ya so,
KAC
HHHot
Have you seen BHR blog entry about the HHH? Sally must be jealous of you. She made fun of your hair (which BTW is really cool and funky IRL). - Anon Blogger
Dear Anon Blogger,
Yes. I have. That is why I jokingly suggested the glamour shots. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.
It was a hot and sweaty Cinco de Mayo. The Cleveland-Washington game pissed me off. I'd been working since 6 a.m. on 2 hours of sleep. And, I had two dirty martinis running through my evil little veins (which some people argue is about half my body weight).
But my three dates didn't seem to mind. (Yeah ... three. Text them, they will come). The frizz didn't stop me from Spanking it with 20 of my closest pals. And, kinda fun, my red-eyed stare actually made the hairs on one guy's head stand up straight.
The night wasn't about being pretty, folks. Get those La La Land dreams outta your head and fly back to Earth. Friday night was not about getting all dolled up. It was about having fun ... and spreading the HHHate. Muahahaha!
Troll on,
KAC
May 08, 2006
Kuwait a Minute
Dear Kelly,
Hi and How are u, I hope that u are doing just great. I am male 38 years old, from Kuwait and I'll visit Washington DC in 3th of june and i will stay for ten days. Did Have Suggestions for me have great fun in the city. Is there is a possible to have a female mate during my staying in DC, i am talking about someone for going out to resturants and night club, and have fun.
Yours,
Jousef
Dear Jousef,
Slow down. You sound a teensy bit too excited about this whole female mate thing. Sure you're not in heat? But no worries. There is a cure for your craving.
Go to AbsoluteAddiction.com and register for membership. The AA guys know all about having great fun in the city. Check out the AA photo galleries to get an insiders view of some of the fun parties that happen here in Washington. You will also see that there are lots of females at the AA events.
On that site, you may RSVP for parties ... and the AA guys just launched a fun new friend network with profiles and messaging capabilities called Addiction Net. Login at AA to actually talk via email to gals in D.C.
Another place to try: Party Slave. Contact Jimmy Luxury to get on the PS newsletter.
@ your service,
KAC
May 07, 2006
Grass Roots
Have you seen this article in the WaPo Express? Nice pic. - Geoff
Dear Geoff,
Yes. I just saw that article about the Haters Happy Hour. And *thanks* regarding the pic. That is the work of the wonderful Claire Duggan. :-)
But with my new blog came a new look. You know, and most people do not recognize me these days. I changed my hair ... and gained 60 pounds. OK. Just kidding. Didn't gain weight. I'm still a stick. But now, instead of running from cameras, trying to keep the gossip columnists quiet, and going bug-eyed from boredom ... all I have to do is get my roots touched up once a month. Pseudo-blondes do have more fun, I've discovered. So, with the new 'do must come a new photo shoot.
The Senator and The Socialite need some better photos. After all ... this is a new year ... with blonde roots ... and new blogs. And The Senator's got a nice tan now (post-baby kissing at Gold Cup). And heck, I'm looking more like a politician's wife every day.
Don't read into that statement too much. This marriage has no ring and no strings, dahling. We're in this blogoholic chapter of our memoirs for the sheer pleasure of feeding our obsessively compulsive urges to hit the publish button. Again. And again.
Hey -- don't say Michael Grass of ReadExpress.com didn't warn you. Like the man said, "Normal people, please stay away. It's for your own good."
This is our AstroTurf,
KAC
May 05, 2006
Devil Inside
Who is your special guest for the Haters Happy Hour? - DCB Hater
Dear DCB Hater,
I cannot reveal the evil identity of my wicked-hot date. Might go to hell for that.
But I can sing an immoral little song that may describe the vicious thoughts that will burn through your veins as classic Washington and hi-tech fashionista intersect. Right there. At. The Science Club.
Here come the womanLook at the faces. Listen to the bells. It's hard to believe we need a place called hell. Yes, grab a piece of ice, and run it across your forehead. It's time to down another Heineken, blogboy -- it only gets worse.
With the look in her eye
Raised on leather
With flesh on her mind
Words as weapons sharper than knives
Makes you wonder how the other half die
Here come the manThe Haters Happy Hour. Its devil-may-care attitude plays mischief as it mixes with the funk of toxic weblog brew.
With the look in his eye
Fed on nothing
But full of pride
Look at them go
Look at them kick
You're afraid to attend. It's villainous. You are afraid to skip it. It's addictive poison. You aren't sure who will be there, lurking in the sinful shadows. Should you blog it? It's deviltry. What if they blog you? Damnation. What if they don't? Kinda makes you wonder how the other half live.
Hell has frozen over, and you're the Popsicle. But hey, look at the fireside: there will be liquor-induced carnal gratification. And, at the devil's blog party nothing's a sin.
Love devastation,
KAC
May 04, 2006
Double Bubble
The socialites just keep comin' outta the woodwork (and the closets).
Meet the Gay Socialites.
They have a fag-hag named Harley that lives right here in the D. of C., a more-than-metro DJ, an NYC girls' girl, and the world's first (self-proclaimed) gay socialite.
All I can say is ... Dayamn. Why didn't I think of that?!
You go, gayfriends,
KAC
May 03, 2006
Freaky Friday
Ahh, to be young with blog. Ohh, to be crafty and composed. Ack! To be hep and what? Hated!
Yes, oh yes. This Friday marks the Second Annual Haters Happy Hour. Come out, meet, greet and hate us like you love us. Why? Because we're blogiful.
Second Annual Haters Happy HourDC Bachelor, Kathryn and the entire Who's Who in the D.C. Blogosphere will be in attendance.
When: Friday, May 5, 2006. 7 p.m.
Where: Science Club. 1136 19th St (Between L and M st’s) NW. Three and a half blocks from Farragut North metro station.
Drink specials until 8 p.m.: Beer (Yuengling $3, Amstel Light $4, Heineken $4), wine (2005 Sauvignon Blanc, Veramonte, Chile $5 and 2004 Carmenere, Santa Rita, Chile $5), and regular liquor $4.
- More, more, more! For more info on this year's event, check out DC Bachelor's blog.
- Way back when: Check out last's year's event on DCB and Washington Socialites.
- Girls on film: See photos from last year's event here.
- Define it: Read What's a hater? on Washington Socialites. Or read more about last year's event here. And ... read Circle V's interview with herself about the first HHH.
Sally the Intern from DCB will make her official debut, I (of course) will be there (DCB made me a *guest star* -- lol) ... and there will be a special surprise guest.
So, fire up the Vespa, geekhead, and buzz on down to Science Club where you can drown your nerdy troll sorrows in a mature, grown-up way: on liquor.
Yeah, you'll hate us in the morning for getting you all boozed up on $4 martinis -- but then again, you already hate us now, don't you?
Oh, baby ... I love it when you hate me,
KAC
Domained and Confused
If YOU die will you "will" me your domain? Just thought'd I'd ask.
Love,
Brad Beckett
Dear Brad,
You are the second person that has asked for my domain. The first person was an ex-boyfriend who asked for it after we broke up.
My original plan was to "will" my domain to Blogaholics Anonymous, the Army of Trolls or the Society for Tanorexic Fashionistas. But then, I made a late night pact with Pud [hottie] once upon a time in NYC. I told him he could have it. After all, that wouldn't be the first domain that Pud and I had both owned.
But since you were the first person to cybersquat me, and since I am heavily drugged with decongestants, antibiotics and anti-histamines at the moment, I will give you a shot.
Get in touch with Pud. Tell him Infusion sent you. Ask him if he remembers the deal. If he doesn't, then I might consider willing it to you.
It is flattering, but seriously ... why would you want my dumb domain, anyway?
Straight from the Bizarro World,
KAC
May 01, 2006
Blogged Down
Dear friends,
In response to several emails from people asking why I didn't update the blog last week ... I apologize. I needed a blog-break.
Not only did I get this ridiculous sinus infection that knocked me for a whirl, but I had several family issues -- literally one after the other ... boom ... boom ... boom ... boom. Felt like I was hit from 20 different directions.
My cousin died, my little sister was in a bad accident and hospitalized, a close relative was diagnosed with cancer and another close family member is going through kidney failure. And this Thursday is my the birthday of my Grandmother and best friend ... she died five years ago from a brain tumor. We used to vacation together every spring, which makes this season pretty difficult for me ... and has made it a reminder that as each new life blooms, death looms. Ugh.
I'm trying to be peppy and fun, but it's just not coming to me. So I might not be updating the blog all that much until this passes. (Because that might get really freaking depressing for you.)
How can life be so beautiful yet so painfully sad?
Hold on,
KAC
THE ARCHIVES
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
