Ha -- love Marc's new find, which is in The Express this week!

"The venerable vending machine has come a long way from its days as a dispenser of caffeinated beverages and sugary snacks to D.C’s office workers. ... Now, Alexandria-based LHD Vending Systems has its eyes set on a new and unusual, product: freshly grilled hot dogs. My taste test verdict in today’s Express."

Marc, def sounds better than the ABP experience, no? Au Bun Pain!!!

Labels: ABP, food - it's what's for dinner (or lunch), the express

So, I was just checking to see if my new blog entries have been picked up by the search engines yet ... and found this craigslist posting about a dream someone had with me in it:

" ... in the dream the people were Kelly Ann Collins yeah she is a real human but hollow like a robot.... nothing under the skin...... ... So kelly takes me to see a movie in my dream ..."

Strange. I hope that person figures their issues out.

Labels: craigslist crazies, dream interpretation

This morning, people were just flipping out on LNS about dating people from other religions. I mean, get a grip people. This is 2008.

I've dated Jewish, Muslim, Christian (Catholic, Methodist, etc.), Buddhist and Taoist guys. And, I have to say, my faves have been the Jewish and Muslim guys. ;-p

But seriously ... what's religion got to do with it? (As long as two people get along well and love each other?) Just drink some champagne and STFU.

Labels: cristal is the devil, debate, love, relationships

It's all about the Virgin Atlantic Upper Class Suite! ;-p

Labels: commercials, videos

The last couple of guys I dated thought that I was sleeping around because I have lots of guy friends.

But is it really that strange for a gal to have more male friends than female friends? I don't think so, especially in this city -- where you cannot trust a gold-digging slut as far as you can throw her silicone-padded treasure chest.

You kno ... a guy who cannot tell the difference between a silly, funloving biatch and a stupid slut bitch must be a few I.Q. points south of the smart pole.

Some men can be real idiots, bless their clueless hearts.

Labels: clueless men, like skank me out, rants, sluts

OK, now ... here is a blog that is cracking me up hardcore: Stuff White People Like. Some of my favorites ...

- Threatening to Move to Canada: Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.

- Oscar Parties: One of the best places to gain a white person's trust is at an Oscar party. An invitation to one these parties is basically your foot in the door. Vocabulary is one of the first things to be aware of at an Oscar party. Never say "movie," always say "film" and know which awards use the term "Best" and which ones use "Outstanding Achievement." Saying, "I hope Atonement wins Best Art Direction," will guarantee that you won't be invited next year.

- Knowing what's best for poor people: White people spend a lot of time of worrying about poor people. It takes up a pretty significant portion of their day. They feel guilty and sad that poor people shop at Wal*Mart instead of Whole Foods, that they vote Republican instead of Democratic, that they go to Community College/get a job instead of studying art at a University.

- The Toyota Prius: Over the years, white people have gone through a number of official cars. In the 1980s it was the Saab and the Volvo. By the 1990s it was the Volkswagen Jetta or a Subaru 4WD stastion wagon. But these days, there is only one car for white people. One car that defines all that they love: the Toyota Prius.

- Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops: White people need organic food to survive, and where they purchase this food is as important as what they purchase. In modern white person culture, Whole Foods has replaces churches and cathedrals as the most important and relevant buildings in the community.

I don't know who is doing that site, but it's frickin' hilarious. Thank you, Minger (Chinese, not white), for bringing my attention to it! ;-p

Labels: blogs, humor, Stuff White People Like

Tonight, I am going out to celebrate something -- wait, scratch that!!

Tonight, I am going out because I'm basically pissed at the world!! ... And I hear Fly is going to be the perfect Tuesday spot! ;-p

So join me for my unofficial "Bye, bye Miss American Fly!" party! (I've been reading a site that says I should move to Canada! Ha!)

Labels: dc, fly, parties, things to do

Windows 95 rocked like Alanis Morissette's song, You Oughta Know. But you ought to know that 60-pound monitors and 12-ounce cafe au laits just. don't. mix.

"And I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away" -- after taking your desktop to Starbucks. "You, you, you oughta know!"



(Are those video camera glasses cool - or what? - kac)

Labels: geeks in the city, pranksters, sbux

The eGo portable hard drive by Iomega is just too cool and cute to ignore.

Its 160GBs can store 640,000 photos, 2,900 hours of music, 240 hours of video -- and it goes perfectly with your Chanel Coco Pink Chanel Rouge Hydrabase Creme Lipstick. What more could you want in a gadget?

Psst ... if you are in the red, go for the eGo 250GB drive -- it holds about 1 million photo, 4,600 hours of music and 375 hours of video. (Now, that's a lot of lipstick!)

Labels: gadgets, geek chic, iomega

I'm so upset right now. It seems like nothing is going right. Blahhhh!

Labels: sad

"Red carpet reporters were raving to Marion Cotillard about her outfit, but we wonder if she smelled as fishy as she looked. Did her dress come from the Daryl Hannah collection?"

Read more:

• Red Carpet Roadkill: Oscar's Worst Dressed [readexpress.com]
  
• Oscars Red Carpet: Marion Cotillard [fabsugar.com]
• Oscar Night's Best Dressed [people.com]

Labels: fashion faux pas, oscar's

When it comes to cheating, men run a tight ship.

They cheat Uncle Sam, they cheat at poker, they cheat on tests ... and they cheat on their partners.

In fact, according to the Ashley Madison Agency (a dating service for married people), 50 to 60 percent of men engage in at least one dirty tryst at some point in their lives -- bastards!

Here are a few signs that indicate your relationship is a sinking ship:

• Smelling fishy?: If you smell another person's perfume or cologne on your lover's clothes, hands or neck, then s/he may be planting her lips where she shouldn't. Watch out!
  
  
• Anchor's away?: There was a time when s/he cared about what you did or said, but now s/he doesn't. S/he might have simply finally accepted your faults, but she could have just as easily met someone else who does not have your bad qualities.
  
  
• Incredible hulk of lies?: Catching him/her in a flat-out lie is a key sign that she is cheating on you or doing something wicked.
  
  
• Sex life a shipwreck?: In the past, the two of you went at it like wild animals in heat, but now s/he gives you the cold shoulder and/or intimacy is nonexistent. Either s/he has lost interest in you, which is not good, or s/he is getting her kicks elsewhere, which is really not good.
  
  
• New cargo?: S/he has an entirely new wardrobe, new undies and his/her hair looks great. S/he also hits the gym, eats healthier and she has her eyes set on becoming fit in a short time span.

Time toss your sinking lover a personal floatation device? Or, is it time to kick that porthole and jump ship? Remember, mates, there are plenty of fish in the sea.


See also:

• Don't Rockstar the Boat

Labels: cheating, relationships

ATB, how can I explain it?

Tonight, we're going to see Andre Tanneberger, aka ATB, spin at FUR. I think the limo will be here around 9 or 10, right, B? You down with ATB? (Yeah you know me!)

Labels: atb, dc, djs, events, fur, things to do

Thanks to Grand Central, you can call me, call me, any time. Just click the button in the bottom, right-hand column, Blondie! ;-)

Labels: contact kac, site features

Who is coming to town? Here are some hints:

- He's friends with Good Charlotte and DJ AM
- Sometimes he gets really stankin' drunk
- He likes to climb stuff
- Sometimes his face is on billboards
- He was on the cover of BPM mag and said, "bpm is the dope shiiiit"

Yup. You guessed it -- DJ Steve Aoki is coming to town!

Famous for putting on one of the best shows in the industry, DJ Steve Aoki spins the hottest remixes of the latest electro, new wave, synth-pop, dance-punk and hipster-hop tracks (with guest vocals from Spank Rock, Uffie, The Faint's Todd Fink and more).

Put your left foot in, your left foot out, your left foot in, and shake it all about.

Hear him live at Lotus (pictured in the slide show, below) on Friday, Feb. 29th, along with hundreds of your friends from Facebook, MySpace, Late Night Shots and Friendster (if you roll like that!) ... as well as hosts Reese Gardner, Billy Mellon and Patrick Osuna.

You do the Aoki pokey and turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!

I'll remind you about it next week. Meanwhile, listen to him here, watch that slidesow of Lotus til you're dizzy ... then fire up the Facebook and go hokey poke someone!

Labels: aoki, dc, djs, events, things to do

Guilty as charged: I'm a month behind, yo!

Thanks to everyone who corrected me on my mistake in this week's newsletter ... DJ Steve Aoki will be at Lotus Feb. 29th -- not Jan. 29th.

You'll have the right to remain silent ... at the show: Steve Aoki, no hokey pokey!

Labels: dc, djs, grammar police, newsletter